entréesprofilamisparlezmémoires
Thursday, May 07, 2009, 10:38 AM
memoirs of bloodlust

one....two....three...choices...what should i take?

cursed fates impossible bliss...
all this she had tried to resist...
reaching for something in the dark
a light or a gentle spark

sometimes things are not all they seem...
one must wait for the myriad rainbow color changes in the enviroment to guess the change in the tides...

as the tides change so do the tides of fate...
does one understand?
right now bloodlust is all that fills my mind....

things are getter darker....my vision is clouding red....

the awakened


Thursday, April 16, 2009, 9:07 AM
memoirs of vanity itself

yesh my dears vanity speaking and you know what i'm going talk bout right? of course it's my hawt self....naw just jokin! just came back from camp bout 2 wks ago and now we're all suffering from the blues and melancholia of post graduation and post FO trauma....and now all the freshies are convinced i'm a whip wielding maniac...T_T...haha i'm very nice ok! LOLZ

well for starters i shall upload the dmit add pics...
group piccies with my darling seniors


photo with nigel...i have a spastic look on my face lol



a RAWK ON! picture with eggy


a i'm a mafia boss's wife! picture


OK....moving right along to the main topic..the FOC....
first...the sentosa outing with the seniors..hiding in a secluded spot so someone could tan..



kimmy....


me....


mNK


MNKN the minas


after which i shall discuss....shim night,,,
due to the invasion of manly rights i shall not overupload too many shimmy pics in case my girls...ahem..boys kill me.but....well that night was full of whippin galore as my evil manager from DMC persona took over...i cant say that was the initial image i was going for but my wardrobe was stolen by one of my shims soo...
well. i had fun cos i gotta whip ppl like crazy...never done that b4...but i've tried and tested that whip on myself b4 k! i understand the threshold of pain and how to create more sound then pain!

here goes
me and the new mamasan


hina violating my dog...


my latest sensation lady..HAHA


anyways before u all start agreeing i'm a mad person...let me say...i am! but i'm prolly nicer then you think...

so long my canine frens!

my real self...a music lover


Tuesday, February 24, 2009, 5:32 AM



ok...yesterday went bitching....i mean beaching....chilled out...fun in the sun...and...goofing....














besides...beaching..and bitching...hmmm what can i say?

gotta muse over the loss of my freedom....the freedom i revel in in the deepest darkest excesses of the night....the night tat givest me the most luxurious feeling of being able to run with abandon....

also have alot to think bout in terms of finances....musing on....

wish my parents could understand me better,,,but then again maybe it's good they don't


Sunday, February 15, 2009, 10:05 AM
the end

darkness fills my very heart....anger permeates my soul...only hurt left to impart....empty deep within inside....

the silence now tells me the truth...all you left is just the memories...i'm stuck in this trap that u have set up...there's no place no way to hide from the dark

your presence still haunts me stealing my last breathe away...

every time i think of you....drowning in my own tears...

my heart breaks and pain grows deep death seems the only way...

i shall say goodbye to misery for this will be the end of the story....

i think it's time to let go....


Wednesday, January 28, 2009, 10:31 AM
25 things about the weather

i was doing this personality test thing which would form a table called the Johari window....those who do come across this post...please help me enter my personality traits in this link...

http://kevan.org/johari?view=celestialrainafall



i played a game today with my frens...we all had to write 25 things about ourselves...here goes

1) i'm kinda wondering what to write about myself
2)i'm a closet romantic
3) i want someone special to love me
4) i wish perverted weirdos will leave me alone
5) i wish my 53GB hentai will DL faster
6) i might be cheerful but actually i'm a very morbid person inside
7)i have lesbian tendencies but prefer guys..
8) i would think that i'm easy to read but hard to understand...
9)i deperately wanna lose weight....for now anyways...been doing abs exerciese at home
10) i wanna start joggin when i graduate even though i hate joggin!
11) i like soccer and badminton
12)i'm competitive once i'm in the aggresive mode
13) i'm very bipolar...for example if i am antisocial i'm very antisocial...if i'm sociable..i'm very sociable...
14)i'm not just a closet romantic...i'm also a closet pervery
15) hmm actually i'm not that perverted la...most of the time i say perverted stuff to elicit a response from my audience
16) i'm tired of guys in general and don't have a very good opinion of them...
17) that doesnt mean i'm not open to a good guy should he come along!
18) but still in general i'm still not ready for a relationship...
19) maybe a lesbian one?
20) ok i'm beginning to talk rubbish...it's my forte afterall
21) recently my mental block cleared and now i can write morbid archaic songs...
22) didnt i say i was a singer/musician/arranger?
23)i'm hoping not to fuck up my song on SOY ( rykiel u understand right?)
24) i'm actually a shy person who uses hyperness to cover up
25) i hope ppl dun think hurting my feelings is funny...


Friday, January 16, 2009, 11:06 AM
persona

wow i took the handwrirting test and apparently some things about me have changed over the past mths.check it out. still very true tho

Raina uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Raina does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.

Raina will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.

Raina is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Raina doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Raina is sensitive to criticism about her ideas and philosophies. She will sometimes worry what people will think if she tells them what she believes in. This doesn't mean she won't talk, or that she feels ashamed. It merely means she is sensitive to what others think, regarding her beliefs.

Raina will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!

In reference to Raina's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Raina slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.

She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Raina can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Raina is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Raina basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

Raina is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Raina has a temper. She uses this as a defense mechanism when she doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around her.

Something is incomplete in Raina's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Raina's sexual needs.

Raina is constantly disappointed when trying to reach success. She works very hard, perhaps harder than most, then just before succeeding, something happens that keeps her from success. Often, Raina changes to a second project just before the first one is finished, thus failing to complete the first project. Sometimes she changes because she feels she needs a different challenge. Raina feels dejected. This feeling relates to her failures. This trait is very important in a working situation and in a relationship. She must be handled in a very special way to get the most work from her or to make a relationship last. Concerning this trait, personality modification is available to change her life.

Raina exaggerates about everything that has a physical nature. Although she may not intend to deceive or mislead, she blows things way out of proportion because that is the way she views them. She will be a good story teller. This exaggeration relates to all areas of her material world. Raina allows many people into her life because she is accepting and trusting. She is sometimes called gullible by her friends. That only really means that she trusts too many people. Raina has a vivid imagination.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Raina has left lots of white space on the all four borders of the paper. Raina fills up just the center area of the page. If this is true, then Raina has a particular shyness toward people and a fear of moving too fast in any direction. In some cultures, respecting people, rules, and adhering to protocol are ways of life.

The right side of the page represents the future and the left side represents the past. Raina seems a bit stuck in the middle, afraid to take action.

Raina seems to have a fear of looking bad or of crossing boundries. It will be easy to work with Raina on a team, because Raina will usually follow the rules. However, this desire to respect the boundries can often be construed as a lack of confidence and people will walk over Raina if she is not careful.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009, 7:17 AM
reminiscence

thinkin back....things have been pretty hectic and messy hasnt it?i mean with all the things and tempests around you happening..u would tend to get caught up in it

i'm already graduating soon...and today i was talkin about stuff with a fren....

what i learnt from the past three years...is that
1)it's better to be low profile
2)smile when your pissed (and yes the whole world is fake ppl)
3)be a little more selfish cos it doesnt pay to be generous to all cept those who matter
4) dun give a damn unless u should..

ah well....that's how u find out who are the ones who are truly shallow...but then again...who am i to say? we all learn and grow together...i've seen ppl change for the better after experiences get the better of them...

thanks to all those frens ( i know we didnt get along initially) who stuck by and believed in lookin deeper then the surface.probably if u were the kinds who just looked at the superficial things we wouldnt have been frens in the first place.

you cant pls everyone....just make sure those that matter dun think anything's wrong with you...so what if i'm hard to understand? some people do....

anyways...i'll continue smiling...and prove i can make it on my own....

wth...i already am mananging fine by myself...i dun needa suck up to do it...

when in doubt smile...when ur pissed smile...when ur happy smile...

gee i'm beginning to sound a lil mental